URTV Incidents
by AzureKate
Summary: A bunch of short stories about weird crazy things happening to the URTV variants! the product of being high on...SUGARRR. no storyline, just individual chapters, short funny stories in each boy's PoV
1. Albedo's Dare

URTV "Incidents"

Incident One, "Albedo's Dare."

Rubedo PoV

Oh. My God. He's _actually_ doing it.

Dammit, Albedo is such an idiot.

Did anyone ever tell you that?

Well, I tell you NOW.

…

Albedo is an idiot.

Well, there he goes…with…you probably don't want to know.

So, we were playing truth or dare, Nigredo, Albedo, and I.

Albedo chose dare….against his will…but Nigredo went evil. I don't know if it was something he ate (the cooks at the institute try to kill us with inedible food, I know it), but he dared it.

Under garments.

Of the last girl on the planet any of us would dare to piss off.

Damn. I can't believe he's doing it.

"Albedo!" Citrine screamed, chasing after the damn idiot who was stupid enough to steal the underwear of our sister. And run around the institute with them on his head.

Okay. I'll spill.

I'm _cracking up._

As I am rolling on the ground laughing my ass off, Nigredo is over on the bench doing pretty much the same thing! Albedo ran past us again, with an extremely frightened look on his face. He turned the corner down the path as we continued laughing our asses off.

Damn I can't believe he's doing it! How many more times am I gonna say that? Until I believe it, dammit!

Suddenly.

Out of nowhere.

A very loud screech.

He ran back past us. The underwear was gone.

His shirt was _ripped_.

And his pants were gone.

Nice underwear Albedo. Purple Albie boxers! XD

_I'm a bit sorry for him now._

Nigredo, I feel your pain.

I cracked up some more.

Then, I wanted to plug my ears, but I couldn't because the damn screaming was _inside_ my damn head.

_!_

I cracked up some more, before getting up and running in the direction that they had run. He did, after all, sound really scared. Like, REALLY scared. Nigredo followed.

We couldn't find them anywhere! XD

So, here we are, running around looking for the damn idiot and the other damn idiot who wanted the first damn idiot dead.

We finally found them. Well, _him._

It was sad. Sad, sad, sad.

He was curled up in a corner. His shirt was gone, all he had on were his boxers. His purple boxers with Albie on them.

There were about twenty standards gathered around him, cracking up. Them and their damn single-consciousness. One of them cracks, the others do too.

So, I pushed my way to the front.

"All right, break it up, break it up!" I shouted loudly, pushing a standard to the side and walking up to Albedo. He jumped up and wrapped his arms around my waist like a little kid and buried his face into my stomach. Awkward. I patted his back. "All right, come on."

I tried to pull him, but he wouldn't budge.

"She's mean!" he cried, tightening his grip.

"Nigredo, get over here and help, please," I said, trying not to laugh. He, obviously struggling not to laugh, as well, walked over and grabbed Albedo's waist and pulled, but he still wouldn't let go. After a few minutes of attempting to get him off, I sighed and just flipped him over.

"Ow!" he cried, finally letting go. He was winded.

So, I picked him up and slung him over my shoulder like a rag doll, him screaming. Once I was on the verge of going deaf, I just knocked him out.

Then we headed back to our room. Nigredo came along.

Once Albedo woke up, we were both staring him in the face. We had managed to get him back into some clothes (it wasn't easy), and just kinda dropped him on the floor. Now he was awake, and we continued to stare him in the face.

"Your turn."

….

"You guys suck! She did bad bad things to me!"


	2. Lunch of Ultimate Death

URTV "Incidents"

Incident Two, "Lunch of Ultimate Death"

Albedo PoV

I stared down in disgust at the abomination on my plate.

I'm not quite sure what it is. But I'm pretty sure it just _moved_.

I'm a bit scared to eat.

I'm not even sure if it's edible!

I look over at my precious big brother.

"Rubedo, I'm scared! Is this even food?" I said, wrapping my arm around his and squeezing it. Suddenly, Nigredo screamed like a little girl and jumped up from his seat.

"It just MOVED!" he screamed, pointing at the thing on his plate and rubbing himself all over as though some had gotten on him.

"Are you serious?" Rubedo asked, chuckling. He picked up his fork and poked his "food" with it. It jumped and landed in _my _lap.

I screamed my head off as it jumped around. By now, Citrine was cracking up, as well as the standards. Unlike us, Citrine got good food. But that's because the cook is a girl, too.

Stupid sexist.

So, I continued to scream. Rubedo, laughing, finally pushed it onto the floor.

The thing grew legs and ran toward me.

I screamed and jumped onto the table, curling up into a ball and shivering. The creature turned and charged Nigredo, who screamed and ran to Citrine and hid. Then, finally, it charged Rubedo. As it came running toward him like a little warrior, he kicked it clear across the cafeteria in one of the standards' lap. The standard started hyperventilating nervously as it crawled up his shirt. Some other standards raced up to help him.

They all grabbed it at once and threw it onto me!

I screamed again and jumped all around until it fell off. I ran over to Rubedo and wrapped my arms around him, whimpering. It decided to charge Nigredo again, who screamed and jumped onto the other table.

It followed him!

He ran down the table and jumped off, and it continued to follow him. He ran over to Citrine again, and it charged one of the standards, who gasped and kicked it. It hit Rubedo in the face. He screamed and pushed it off.

Finally, a huge high-heeled foot squashed it. The lunch lady.

"'Dis has gone far enough!" she shouted. "Everybody sit down!"

We all hurried back to our seats, all though I was still squeezing up against Rubedo. She walked down the aisle next to ours and looked at us.

"You are all stupid scaredy-cats!" she shouted. "And now you all gotta eat, else you ain't leaving this cafeteria!"

My eyes widened.

I stared down at my, thankfully still-unmoving "food."

I reluctantly stuck a forkful into my mouth, slowly, as practically everyone watched in shock.

I chewed.

And gagged.

And then there it was again.

Yuck.


End file.
